To Pee ... or Not to Pee !

Hello fellow mind inquirers. I'm glad you took a few minutes out of precious day to stop by. I know you're either buried in work or busy saving the world with your altruistic philanthropy. Or maybe you're just getting up a bit to help the couch sores on your ass heal. Either way, you're here now and you might as well stay and listen to a little mindless drivel.

Let's discuss a usually taboo subject.  Toilets. The loo. The water closet. It has been called many things in the many generations since the first men decided they didn't like freezing their onions off in the harsh winters and decided to bring their business inside. But I'll betcha good ol' John Crapper never thought his famous invention would cause such an uproar!

Guys using the "little girl's room".  Girls using the "little boys room". Girl/guys & guy/girls using whichever relief station they feel like. Confused? Well, I sure as hell am.  And I have some questions.

I really try hard to be "hip". I try to keep an open mind. But, I gotta tell you, this toilet thing has thrown me for a loop.

Let's start with this LGBT community. Why must you make every one of your issues a national problem? I'll admit I'm not totally in tune with your agendas. Hell, I'm not even sure what the T means. I can roll with the L, G and Bs.  But I'm really not sure about the Ts. Is that Transgender? Somebody tell me the REAL meaning of the T! Do they still have it? Or did they have the doctor remove it? What if they never had it but want it? How do you get one if you don't have one but want one? Do you get them on line? Do they come in different sizes? How about colors? You would have to make sure it wouldn't stand out. Or would you want it to stand out?  Stand up, absolutely. Stand out  ... not so much. How about an average white dude choosing to go for the gusto and get the XXL version in the mocha color.  Talk about the carpet not matching the drapes. Endless problems.

Back to the issue at hand. I've come a long way baby. I say let consenting folks keep their private lives to themselves. I'm for keeping the government out of their bedrooms. But how about letting us non-LGBTers have a little privacy also? We still have rights too.

This idea of a person using the public bathroom or locker room that they identify with is not just over the top politically correct bullshit, it's also fraught with a myriad of things that can go wrong. I have some empathy for the person who has to deal with identity issues. But we cannot let the issues of this infinitesimal segment of the populace change the norms and basic privacy rights of the mass majority. The kowtowing to special interests across all spectrums has got to stop.

Look, I'm a growed man.  I really don't care who uses the bathroom I'm in. As long as they flush. There is nothing worse than a non flusher. But even I draw the line of a young girl walking in on me while I'm making my morning deposit. After the initial embarrassment, I'd be afraid the cops would be looking for me. This is just inherently wrong in my world. Folks, there has to be some rules, There has to be some decency.  And the very basics of decency start in the pisser.

Here's a couple more points for you to ponder. Who's gonna be the first high school boy to say he's identifying with the girls so he can get in their locker room and catch a glimpse of the cheerleaders showering up after a hard day of leg kicks and pom pom shaking? Don't tell me you didn't think of this. I sure did. And I will tell you that me and my misfit buddies would have all been re-identifying back in the day. Oh, the possibilities.

How about Mr. Stranger Danger? Remember him? The evil pedophilic guy that was just waiting to lure you into his car with promises of endless supplies of Snickers bars and Butterfingers. Don't you think this whack job is going to figure a way to use this new law to satisfy his perverted fantasies? How do we prevent this?

The other thing that popped into my head is identifying the identifier. What are the rules? Does the cross identifier need to pass some kind of test? Will that test be written or oral? Does he/she (no pun intended) need to carry an ID, or should I say cross-ID? Will there need to be placards posted on all bathrooms that say "WE CARD EVERYONE. You must be transgendered and PROVE IT." 

One last thought. To the Lady LGBT identifiers: why the hell would you want to use the men's room? Some of the most vile places I have been in my life are men's rooms I've had to use through my various travels. I pray you never have to use the urinal next to the stall with the burly trucker nosily extricating last evening's chicken fried steak special at the 100 year old Skelly truck stop in B.F. Tennessee. This will leave life long mental scars. Also, good luck pissing in the troughs at Wrigley Field. Don't expect extra room so you can drop your pants, back in and drop ham.

So that's all for now. LGBTers... I'm with you to a point. Let's just not let our little pitty potty issues fog up the real issues of equality and mutual respect. And, just so you know ... If I ever get the chance, I'm using ladies room. The one with the sofa and the nice flowers. So long to filthy crapatoriums!

Y'all come back now!
Johnny

You can deposit you thoughts through email at:

Mccgolfer99@gmail.com

You Didn't Ask For It, But You'll Get It Anyway

Consider this my WELCOME to all of you insidiously bored human units looking for a pithy distraction from your mundane existences. If you came here for some kind of positive and uplifting life-changing insight, you might as well leave now. This will not be your "happy place". Contrarily, if it is a diversion from "normal" you seek, then bookmark this page and visit often. I, Johnny, your humble and subservient blogger, am here to pique, prod, pleasure and piss off your delicate psyches until either you throw up from laughing or your head explodes by way of over-analyzing the minutest of urbane topics. Either way, it matters not to me.

Well you might be asking "what might you be discussing / raving about in this new blog of yours that will make me want to waste 5 minutes of my day reading?".

Hmmm ... good question. 

Let's start with these topics:

Life
Politics
Religion
Sexual Orientation
Race
Potpourri

Yup.  Good place to start.  I could pretty much say anything relating to those aforementioned hot buttons and piss somebody off! And make no mistake, I am here to provoke you into deep thought. To make you look at things the way I do. To drag you to my point of view. To have you move in with me on the far side of life. You will try to resist. But, in the end, I think you'll succumb to my illogical and warped sense of thinking.

Readers of my previous blatherings concerning my weight loss journey, already know that my mind houses an endless amount of useless information, far fetched ideas, contorted views of life and over bearing opinions. So let's see where that gets us. Many times I surprise even myself with depth of my mental depravity. And I only mean that in a good way.

The next time you stop by, I will have some type witty diatribe prepared for your perusal.  I will try and dance the two step on your morality and see if you fight back.  I hope you do. It may provoke a lively exchange. 'Cause believe it or not, I'm looking for some fresh meat. Although your opinion means absolutely nothing to me, I will still relish the opportunity to receive it. Then, I will, of course, trash it in kind. So if you're mannish enough, bring it on! Or get in line with the rest of the great society of lemmings your government longs for you to be!

Until next time ...
Get a life! Have an opinion.

Johnny